Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Guest Post: B.Lynn Goodwin - 5 Ways to Cope with Loss

I'm happy to introduce B.Lynn Goodwin to Just Commonly today. B.Lynn Goodwin is the author of Talent: Real Life Doesn't Have a Script, a young adult novel on moving on from loss.  If you didn't get the chance to check out my review from earlier today, you can do so by clicking here.  Without further delay, here's B.Lynn.


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Five Ways to Cope With Loss

Our lives are filled with all kinds of loss. Breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend is one kind. Divorce and loss of a parent are two more. Losing a keepsake or heirloom can tear at your heart. Losing a battle can rip away your sense of safety and security.


In TALENT, Sandee loses a role in her high school’s production of Oklahoma!, but she gains two important jobs for the show. A few weeks in to the rehearsal period, she has a much bigger loss. She finds several tools for coping. She also discovers talents she never knew she had. She took them for granted, until someone pointed them out.

Other characters have losses too. Nicole lost her license before the story started. Diego loses his immaturity. Rob loses – oops! That’s a spoiler. He loses his cool, and much more. Everybody has losses throughout life. How they cope helps define who they are.

Hear are some tools you can use to cope with loss. Try them. Then hone them to meet your needs.


1. Write

When the loss is fresh and raw, when trying to speak brings tears to your eyes, when you don’t know what you think, try writing instead of talking. Write about whoever or whatever you have lost. Write about the moment it happened or the moment you discovered it. Write about the pain. Start anywhere. Start on a totally different subject if you want to. You’ll get to the topic you need to write about soon enough.

2. Talk

Find a trusted friend to confide in. Explain why a lost relationship mattered so much. Explain why you’re devastated over a missing ring or necklace. Talk to any good listener whom you trust. Ask for confidentiality if you need it. Talk about the loss, but also talk about how you plan to go on. Talk about what it will be like to do upcoming activities without your friend or partner. Talking about problems leads to solutions.

3. Memorialize

On February 7, we lost a 74-year-old woman whose children had been stolen from her 41 years earlier. I helped her find those adult children with the help of Troy the Locator and Dr. Phil. Knowing that, you will understand that she was very special to me. I keep thinking about how sick her cancer made her and where she is now. While we are waiting for her memorial service, I can remember her is by looking at photos I took at Paramount Studios where the Dr. Phil Show is taped. Those are great but in my favorite one she is holding our terrier, Eddie, who is licking her face with great joy. Sometimes I think about how she would want the people she left behind to feel and what she would want us to do.

4. Think about what the other person would want

This is advice that Sandee’s friend Tessa gives her in TALENT. Tessa suggests that she make a list of what the person she has lost would want. The last two things on Sandee’s list are “Don’t forget him” and “Have fun!!” In other words, if you lose someone, keep that person in your heart but move forward.  

5. Acknowledge the pain instead of stuffing it

As days and weeks go past, your pain may continue. Acknowledge it. Keep writing. Keep talking. Keep imagining what the other person would want you to do while you are still here. If you stuff your pain, you’ll either become depressed or explosive. There are better choices.

Whether your loss is temporary or permanent, let yourself grow as you work towards acceptance. Accept the process of loss, grief, and moving forward. You will find light, peace, and hope again. It’s out there waiting to embrace you when you embrace it.

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Thank you B.Lynn.


To all who suffered a loss, let God comfort you, and let your tears flow with memories of loved ones.  Blessings to all. 

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."   Matthew 5:4

                                                                                                                                                                      

Title:  Talent:  Real Life Doesn't Have a Script
Author: B. Lynn Goodwin
Publisher:  Eternal Press
Release Date:  November 15, 2015

ABOUT THE BOOK

Fifteen-and-half-year-old Sandee Mason wants to find her talent, get her driver's license, and stop living in the shadow of her big brother, Bri, who disappeared while serving in Afghanistan.

She discovers that real life doesn’t have a script as she deals with loss, the manipulation of Bri’s best friend, her burning ambition to find her talent and figure out what happened to Bri, and unexpected bits of joy that pop up when she least expects them.

TO PURCHASE A COPY

   

                                                                                                                                                                      


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

B. Lynn Goodwin is the owner of Writer Advice, http://www. writeradvice.com, and the author of You Want Me to Do WHAT? Journaling for Caregivers. She’s been published in local and regional newspapers, plus numerous magazines, anthologies, and online journals. A former drama and English teacher, she now conducts writing workshops, writes book reviews, edits, coaches writers, and is currently working on a second book about Sandee Mason’s adventures and a memoir about getting married for the first time at age 62 to a two-time widower who she met on…gulp…Craigslist. She lives with her husband, Richard, and her dog, Eddie McPuppers, in Northern California. 

CONNECT WITH B.LYNN:  website,  facebook,  twitter


                                                                                                                                                                      

GIVEAWAY


Don't forget to enter the giveaway on my review post earlier today. 



                                                                                                                                                                      

Tour Schedule


This tour is brought to you by WOW! Women on Writing Blog Excellence. 



                                                                                                                                                                      



2 comments :

  1. I'm very pleased that this is up. I'd love to hear what have you done to cope with loss?
    Also, how long will the giveaway last?

    Lynn

    Writer Advice Managing Editor, www.writeradvice.com
    Author of YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT? Journaling for Caregivers & Author of TALENT
    blynngoodwin.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Lynn. Thanks for stopping by. The giveaway is through the 16th of March.

    ReplyDelete